WARNING: AMBIEN INDUCED Bloggy

So all this time I have been sleeping like Rip Van Wrinkle, last night I had a horrible night...thoughts running through my head that had no business there....cremation or burial. (cremation, btw).  I want lots of different music played, uplifting....so that will be Tonya's gift to me.  Yes, it's tacky as hell, but I want Tonya to help plan my funeral.   And last night, I had it planned down to what I would be wearing to the crematory.  What I wanted my kids to wear.  How I wanted purple (for cancer) and blue (for progressive) bows everywhere.  Man, my mind was on a roll....and not a good roll.
So after I woke up after the minimal sleep I received the first thing I thought of was FUCKKKKK THAT! No more of that crap.   I don't care what the doctors say, or what this piece of shit google device indicates, I WILL BEAT THIS DAMN CANCER!!! I might end up dying in a few years, but it will NOT be from CANCER....It will be from me living my life to the fullest and a freak accident or something.....maybe falling off a plane while skydiving before putting my shoot on....or maybe it will be a shark attack while snorkeling naked in Hawaii....It just might be riding 100 mph on the back of a bike having the time of my life.....but I will tell you what it won't be....it won't be cancer. Cuz I just know it won't.  I'm good like that.  Knowing the unknown is my specialty.  I just don't like to share that news with just anyone, I might get adult-napped and then never have the dance to swim naked with the sharks.=}  I should probably take advantage of this ambien and go night night. but then again, I will be sleeping all day again, so whats my rush russia? well, my rush is this: My eyes are falling shut. Typing with one eye open here.  
But I had to blog, just had to.  Had to tell all my friends and family that I am doing okay and tomorrow will be a new day. Oh....and I love you. Each and every one of you freaks and non-freaks. I mean that too. I ain't bull-crapping ya, its fo realzzz-sickle


g'night my loves


Rach