Bucket List #1=CHECK NKOTB SCORE!!

Where do I start?  I was a blockhead way back in the day......and once a blockhead, ALWAYS a blockhead.  My room was covered with NKOTB pix, I had the sheets, the pillows, the CD'S, ect ect....I had it all.....saw every concert......let's just say I was a HUGE NKOTB fan.  I was a Danny girl with a splash of Donnie on the side.
So......I found out on June 25th, dreams do come true!  My girlfriends Autumn and Melissa paid my way to 4th row of their concert.  It was A-FUCKING-MAZING!!!! Our friend Vicky from Toronto knows Donnie (very well)....she texted him and told him my story.  But sadly, no response.  She texted him 4 times, no response.  I was okay with this because I was just happy to be out with my friends and excited to see them in concert.
After the concert we decided to drive around and wait at their tour bus area.  Then we spotted Johnny......Donnie's assistant.  Johnny was riding around on Donnie's scooter.  Too cute.  So I said what the hell, I only live once, and decided I was going to talk to Johnny and see what was up.  Luckily, Johnny is super cool and stopped to talk to me.  I told him about Vicky and he knew exactly who she was.  He told me he was on his way to talk to Donnie, to hold tight.  Johnny said when I see Donnie's silver tour bus pull out, to not make a scene and walk over to it.  That is just what I did.  Johnny hopped out, saw me, asked me to give him a second and walked back in the tour bus.  My knee's started shaking.  I was thinking, is this really happening??? IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING???

Well.....it really happened.....Johnny opens up the bus door and said come on in Rachel. So with my knee's trembling, I climb up the stairs.  There they were, both Donnie and Danny. SAYYYYYYYYYY WHHHHHHHHHHHAT????? Both of my men were standing right before my eyes.  I said hey guys, Donnie grabbed me, hugged me, and said "YOU ARE GOING TO BEAT THIS"  I said FUCK YES I AM!!!! He said You kick that cancer's ass Rachel... I told him funny you should say that, bc that is exactly what I say on Twitter all the time #kickingcancersass.

So I set down, played with his dog, chatted a while, and well, my dream came true!!!  We took pix, gave hugs, then he asked if I wanted to go to breakfast, so off to the waffle house we went!  

That is really all I can say......we exchanged info and numbers and I think I am somewhere still lost in the clouds.  It was one of the best nights of my life!

Missing my Dad

No matter what I did, he always understood me.  He would be my support for anything.  As I go down this journey in my life, I miss him most.  I can't imagine what he would have said or did.....but I just know I miss him.

Today my mom called and I could tell she had been crying.  I asked what was going on and she said she came across Dad's journal....the one he kept from the time he was diagnosed until the time he had his brain surgery and  couldn't write anymore.  There were not too many entries, but my name was mentioned most. I asked her if I could read it.  She said certainly and then told me Dad would want me to have it.  Needless to say, I hauled butt to my moms house to retrieve it.
When I got in my car, "I'll be missing you" by Puff Daddy was playing.  What a PERFECT song to hear.  I cried all the way to mom's listening to it.  http://youtube/qWuBS1HmI3M
I got to Mom's and we hugged for a long period.  Then she gave me the journal.  I sat down and read it, crying the entire time.  He often referred to me as "Rachel, the ever so faithful Rachel".  I tried to be.  I wanted to be.  I wanted to be by his side every second as he battled that demon of glioblastoma.  I am glad he felt I was.  It makes my heart smile.  I know he would be right beside me as I battle this demon.  I know he is on my shoulder lifting me up as I slowly recover from what the devil tried to take of me.  I know I will be back to myself again and healthy.  For my dad and everyone else.
I love you Dad, this recovery is for  my family, my friends, and YOU!

Update: Life, Love, Family, Friends, KickingCancersAss

So much has happened within the past week, I thought it was time for an update. On Tuesday, I was told by my doctor to visit the nearest ER, and do it fast.  I was having a lot of pain and in my lower abdomen and bleeding.  So my mother took me to the nearest emergency room (that my insurance approved) and off we went.....
They did an ultrasound and said everything looked okay, to follow up with my gynecologist.  I knew I wasn't "okay".  I know my body, and just knew something was not right.  I immediately asked for a copy of the ultrasound report and a copy of my labs.  You would have thought I was asking for President Obama's birth certificate.  The nurse looked at me like I was crazy, but finally, she complied.
Walking slowly to the car I said to my mom: "WHAT THE HELL"  "THERE IS NOTHING NORMAL ABOUT THESE LABS OR THE ULTRASOUND REPORT!!!"  I am not kidding, nearly 1/2 of the labs were "abnormal" and the ultrasound reported I had multiple growths on both of my ovaries and as well as my uterus.  I get into the car, it was about 4:45pm, called my gyno, spoke to the nurse and she was speechless.  She said my doctor was in surgery the following day, but made me an appointment for Thursday.
So I was there at 9am and she examined me, did another ultrasound, then took a biopsy of my endometrium, and shook her head at the reports I showed her.  She said "you are a mess inside your abdomen", we need to take care of this soon.  She recommended a total hysterectomy, but hated to take away both of my ovaries because it would immediately throw me into menopause.  I said if it means getting rid of this pain, and possibly saving my life, I am for it.  She said that was the best decision.  I can take hormones to make up for the lost ovaries.  
This can be one of two things, because the malignant tumor that was removed back in January was close to this area, it might have spread.  OR, it can be not related at all, and I could just be having "female issues".  Regardless, the growths were present and need to be removed.
I am not going to pretend I am not scared, because I am very scared.  It is yet, another major surgery and setback.  Recovery time for this is 6 weeks.  Yay me. NOT. NOT. NOT.  But each day my spirits are picking back up.  I am so thankful that I had my children at a young age and I just can't say enough how grateful I am for all three of them.  They are my life, and I just want to be here for them, as long as possible.....to see my grandchildren would be even better.
The earliest the surgery can be performed is July 13th.  Sounds far away, but not really.  My mom will be here for the day of the surgery, but she had a planned trip to Las Vegas, that she "can't" cancel.  Thankfully, I have my mother in law that will help out with the kiddo's and I have my amazing friend Tonya who is putting her life on hold to come fly out for 2-3 weeks to help me out.  I couldn't do this without Tonya being here or the support she has given me.  It has filled my heart and given me strength I didn't know I had.  I have so many friend who have helped me....Autumn, Mary, Becky, Melissa, Jennifer, Robin, Paula, Dan, Alice, and the list goes on, especially with my awesome Twitter family who is daily supporting and encouraging me.  I seriously, would not have the strength and positive attitude that I do, without these folks.  All are AMAZING!!!
So that is the latest update.  Still taking my meds and I believe I am going to get this once and for all.  I will come out stronger and a more appreciative person because of all of this.  I will be fine.  I know this.  There is no other option, but to be healthy again.  To be able to be the mom I used to be and be there for my kids in ways that I can't right now.  I want that more than anything.  I just want to be strong again.  I just want to live.  Enjoy life and my family.  And to love.....all of you!  In which I do!
Thank you all, so much for the continued love, support, and prayers!!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!
xoxoxoxo
Rach