SPCA

I got a phone call today from an investigator at the local SPCA regarding my complaint to them about the puppy mill....He wanted to thank me for everything I sent him, said it is making his job much easier....He kind of laughed and I laughed then he said "no, I am being serious."  No one has ever presented this much evidence against someone, we usually have to dig and find it."  The envelope I sent him cost $7 and some change, so yeh, there was a lot in there....lol
So I told him once I got started and realized she indeed was a part of a puppy mill, I couldn't just let it go.  Thats not me.  Puppy mills unfortunately are all over the place, and in the state of Texas our laws SUCK.  So I am teaming up with a friend and we are going to do everything we can to get those laws changed.  
Yeh, I know...like I have time for this.  Well, I will make time.  Seeing Ella suffer like that really hit me hard.  So...it might take a while and it might not even happen, but I sure will try.
Back to the phone call I received...the investigator also said that she(puppy mill bitch) is more than likely a "runner" for the actual puppy mill and he wants the entire mill shut down. And then he thanked me again. And again. And well....that just made my day. Not sure why, but it made me feel good.
#PuppyPower #RIPElla

This can't be happening....

So as my mom, my dear sweet mom, is recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, she has been undergoing some test.  First, her potassium came back low, really low. That kind of alarmed me. Then last night when I was visiting they told her an endrocrinologist would be coming in at a later time. Alarm number two for me. So on my way home, my brain went into overdrive and I couldn't stop using what I've learned in nursing school to try to figure out what in the hell could be going on. Then it clicked....something is wrong with her endocrine system.  Your endocrine system is basically all your glands in your body...your thyroid, adrenal, and pituitary. The adrenal gland in particular can cause your epinephrine and norepinephrine to be out of whack, as well as other hormones. It can also throw your potassium off. An increase in epi can obviously cause problems such as heart attacks.
Last night, I told my husband I think my mom has a tumor. No shit. I told him that.
Today my mom calls me and says this (in a tone like its no big deal, cause that is just how she is) Well, they found a tumor on my adrenal gland and they are going to call in an oncologist.
WTFuckingFUCK mom? NO WAY! She says yes way. I say no way. She again says yes way.

So that is the update. My uncle told me to think positive. Yes, adrenal cancer is rare, but my mother is already showing signs. I am in shock. Don't really know what to think or say. It is really hard for me to think positive with all that has happened. All I know is I can't lose my mom. Not now. Not like this. NOT FUCKING NOW!
So that's it. All I can say is wow. wow. wow. WHY? WHY? WHY?
Thanks for all of your kindness and support, I can't say it enough. I love you all, mucho galore! I'm just a little numb.....
Rach

Broken Heart

I've heard the saying before "he/she died from a broken heart". I always knew it could happen.  But to see it almost happen with my own eyes was....well, I don't have words for it.  My dad has been gone for 1 month and 15 days. In my opinion, mom still has yet to grieve.  She has been so strong, too strong.  Trying to hold the family together.  Trying to do too much. Still hasn't grasped the concept that her husband of almost 21 years is gone. It hasn't set in.  I can't imagine going home to an empty house that you shared with someone for that long.  Last summer (2009), she and dad were talking about getting ready to retire, buying a small cottage house around the lake and just enjoying their lives.  They both lived very modest. But they loved life. Loved to live.  Loved camping and spending time with each other.  She had told me that summer something along these lines:  Rachel, I am so in love with my husband, I am so happy with my life, but I have the biggest fear and a bad feeling that something bad is going to happen.  I told her she was being silly and that the only thing that was going to happen would be they would be able to enjoy each other without having to work. And of course, that lake house would be a get away for us and to expect us up there every weekend.  She still said....no, I just think something bad is going to happen.  I told her she was crazy and shouldn't be so negative.
Three months later my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer. 
I am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me or to say she's had it rough.  I promise I am not.  But I just don't get it. I don't get why it had to happen at all, but why now? Why couldn't they have got a little time to live their dream? My mom and dad had the best relationship ever.  RARELY argued, were so affectionate. Hell, they still held hands when they went everywhere.  Yes, they were that older couple who would hold hands walking into the grocery store or when they took walks together.  So cute, so sweet, so much in love.
This is why I think my mothers heart finally broke down.  She IS a strong woman.  They strongest I know. But sometimes, being strong is a bad thing.  You have to let it out, you have to cry...scream...and cry some more.  I realize I probably do enough those things for both of us, but that doesn't really count. 
Mom is going to be okay.  THANK GOD.  Do you know she wasn't even going to let me take her to the emergency room???  She said just let me lay down and I'll be fine.  FUCK THAT MOM. If you lay down, you might not ever get up.  She said "That would be fine too".  I said fine for you, but not fine for us.  Now get your ass off that couch or else I'll kick your ass off that couch and all the way to the emergency room if I have to.  FOR GODS SAKE mom, I am a nurse. Give me a little bit of credit, this is not good.  SOMETHING IS WRONG.  
So, she finally listened.  I told her Mom, Dad would be pissed. Right now, he would be saying "SABRINA, stop being so bull-headed and go". That got a chuckle from her and said you are so right, let me get my purse.
So off we went....(thank you dad, you helped me get her there).
I feel so numb....so...just here...nothing I can do but love her and I do a lot of that.  I can't lose her. Now that she is stable I am feeling some better.  But she SCARED THE SCARE outta me! Of course I tried not to show it, but I have been a basket case on the inside...(whats new, huh).
I know I always say I am going to do this or do that....but THIS is what I am going to do: My mom and I will get healthy this new year.  For us and for my kids and for our families....It is NOT an option.  I WILL be focusing on my family, our health, my mom, and my children.  I WILL help my son in any and every way possibly.  And...I will be happy.  I am so grateful for the wonderful things in my life and all the MANY blessings I have.  My friends and family have been so supportive, loving, just UNBELIEVABLY amazing to me...Tonya, Jenn, Autumn, Melissa, Erica, Rachel, my Twitter friends, ALL of my friends.  Just unbelievably supportive and caring.  I can't thank them enough.  My brother and I have became close again, and I thank God for that.  Despite his crazy political views, he is a great guy and I love him to pieces.  Because of him and my dad, I have found a new church that I feel so at home at.  It's non-denominational, just a plain Christian church.  I actually enjoy going to the service and am sorry I missed it today.  I walk in there and out of there feeling like a new person.  So refreshed.  I hadn't felt that way in a Catholic church in years.  This church has helped me in so many ways and I haven't even been going that long.  I look forward to getting involved and getting my relationship back with God. (no worries my progressive friends...I am still me after all, you can't take that BLUE blood outta me) I love you all, all of you.
So with this, I will end...but its not the end of me.  I am trying so hard to remain positive, and with all my heart I want to be a better me. The good thing is my latest blood work came back and for some odd reason, my lupus hasn't flared up.  A blessing from God and I can't help but think my daddy has something to do with it.  He and my brother and Gramps and Granny Fielder are watching over us, helping us through this.
Thank you all for reading my blog (rants, whines, gripes, bitching). Thanks so much for everything! I <3 you all!

DEXTER

I am officially a new parent, to a PUPPY!!! As nervous as I was about getting one due to our last ordeal, I did it!  I have been looking at local animal shelters for weeks if not a couple of months...and it's very hard to find a dog who is hypoallergenic...so I went to the ads (hesitantly). After verifying that this was a REAL BREEDER, who LOVED ANIMALS, visiting her home, seeing the Sire and Dame, seeing all the puppies, verifying the vet visits of the puppies, ect....I brought home our little bundle of snow white fur...

His name? (drum roll please) .................. D E X T E R!!!! How could it not be? My daughter first thought of--- first name: Jack middle name: Daniels AKA Jack Daniels.  As tempted as the name was....we went with the second name she came up with: DEXTER! I can't believe I didn't think of it. Perfect name for our little puppy.

Can I tell you how excited I am.  I love dogs, love love love them....I was so excited to get little Ella Jager and then heartbroken after what happened. I feel so much better about this entire situation and am so excited to have my sweet baby boy as an addition to my family.  The girls are elated and Clayton keeps saying "puppy, puppy" woof woof woof....he is so happy to have a little friend =)

Jackass comments

Too bad I had to go private. I say this because I had been getting NUMEROUS comments left for autism research, autism advocacy, friends who were helping me through the puppymill situation, friends that were leaving me prayers for my dad, ECT. BUT...I had to.  We all know there are many jackasses in this world and one in particular kept leaving me jackass comments. So, with out further a-due. I am a members-only blog. Sounds kinda strip-club-ish doesn't it. Oh well...hopefully I won't have to keep it this way for long...I even had an authur I was conversing with who wrote a book for special needs children... <sad face> I will miss all my blog readers, but I need to focus on what is important in life and not the jackass. (a good friend pointed that out to me, he is right on point).
Have a great Tuesday my friends, all 11 of you who might be reading this. lol

Bitter Sweet

As my brother gears up to celebrate his 30th birthday, We are also remembering the loss of his twin...my sweet brother Jeremiah "joey" who lost his life 15 years ago tomorrow...
15 years ago.  It doesn't seem like 15 years.  Doesn't even seem like 5.  I often wonder (a lot) what he would look like, what he would be doing, would he be married, kids, a doctor, maybe an EMT, ect....
I miss him so much.  My daughter was barely 2 weeks old when he passed away. It was a tragic accident with a gun...
I remember the night it happened....it was a quiet night and my husband and I were house sitting at my grandmothers.  My mom called us and said HURRY, JOEY IS HURT...by the time we got there life-light was landing and I was just in shock.  Everyone was trying to keep me from going into the bedroom from seeing the paramedics work to revive him.  At the time, we didn't know if he had actually been shot.  Only that he was unconscious and there was a gun by his side...a gun that my parents owned and had put up in the closet.  My brother had been getting Christmas lights down from the attic, must have fallen, hit the gun on the way down, and the gun went off when it hit the ground. A freak, tragic, accident.  Changed my life, our lives, forever.
We all miss him so much....tonight is the anniversary of it happening.
I miss you Joey and love you so much.
There is one thing I do know, he would not have been a RWNJ like his twin. =) lolol He woulda been on my team! Although his twin Josh is amazing, just a little too conservative for my blue blood....I love him anyway, he is awesome!

One more thing...

Recently...more like the past year, my life has been filled with drama, my father being diagnosed with brain cancer, my father dying, my entire puppymillbitch situation, more drama, and now my son being diagnosed and I am still fighting to get him seen by a specialist....But I want to say this:

I am so grateful for the life I do have.  I know it could be so much worse.  I know there are people in a hell of a lot worse situations.  I am grateful for my family, my friends, and just being able to make it in this world.  I don't take anything for granted. NOTHING.  I know I probably seem like a bitch, or a whiner, or a huge complainer....but I just want to say I am sooooo thankful and I am so blessed with having what I do have in my life and having WHO I have in my life.

So blogging has become kind of an outlet for me...but I just want to be clear.  I know I have a big heart and I am not scared to use it.  I love my life and wouldn't change a thing because I am who I am today because of everything I went through....all the trials and tribulations have made me stronger.

So thank you friends, thank you for putting up with me and mostly, thank you for ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!! When I say it means a lot, IT MEANS A LOT.  People have trashed me, called me names, said I was a bad mother....ect....but I know I am a good person and my parenting is my number one priority.  I am not perfect by any means, but I won't give up a fight for any of my kids.  I will fight for them all, and I thank you all for the support you have given me through everything.

Have a good weekend
xoxoxoxoxo
Rach

Update on #puppyMillFarmerBitch

So the trial to appeal the appeal was today.  Judge looked at her said the burden of proof was on her to show she was broke. Because in the state of Texas, when you appeal a civil trial you have to post an appeals bond double the amount of the judgement.  Which in our case, it was close to $2000.  She says" No its not, thats not what the lady told me when I called."  He said you are going to take someones word of the law who sits and answers phone calls all day? Not very smart.
So then she went on to say she is broke, no job, lives on childsupport...yada yada lies lies more lies....He ask me if I could prove otherwise...I said all I have are these ads for months showing how often she sells puppies...every couple of weeks, puppies, dozens of them...judge said well, we really can't prove that she sold those puppies, only that she is trying to, so that doesn't help.  I said what about bank statements from her showing she has no money. She said she doesn't have a bank account. Whatever....
So judge said she was prolonging the original verdict, but she is granted the FREE appeal....then he looked at me and said "What I can do for you Rachel is put this trial as soon as possible and give it to a docket that I know will see the case ASAP.  Judge has 27 years of experience in our area....he is highly respected.  So her appealing him probably isn't going to appeal to the next judge.  Judge also said that we can make sure this case is soon for you and get this out of the way for you so you can move on.  It is a shame we can't award pain and suffering in our state for animal issues...
So once I get my son the treatment he so desperately needs for his new diagnosis, I will be doing all I can to change the puppy-mill laws in Texas.  I know this is a very conservative state (duh duh duh). And I am just me, no one really important, BUT THE LAW NEEDS TO BE CHANGED AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I JUST SIT BACK AND WATCH THIS BITCH KEEP DOING THIS.  OR ANYONE ELSE.  IT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED.  And another thing? Have I mentioned? Zoey is a fucking bitch. Well....she is.  Her attitude towards the judge showed him exactly what kind of person she is.
I won before and I will win again. NO WORRIES HERE.

Amazing-ness

My girls are both amazing. Both are: Beautiful. Manors galore. Sweet. Super smart. Just wonderful kids.  But they are totally different from each other.  My oldest is a clean freak, a neat freak, a nothing is ever OUT of it't place freak, but not a bad freak.  My youngest daughter is a mess freak, a dirty room freak, a nothing is never IN it's place freak, but also not a bad freak....Neither are perfect, but perfect in their own way... as in they are my heart...they are my girls and I thank God for them each and every day.  When Caitlyn smiles she can light up the darkest room.   When Brooke smiles it is usually followed by a contagious laugh...Words can't say how proud I am of each of them...
I want the world for them but it is such a scary world...I want to hold them tight but I know I have to let them fly on their own.  Well, somewhat on their own.
They have handled my sons diagnosis of autism like champs.  We have adapted to his needs and things are changing each day.  It seems our lives have been given some big bumps lately, but I couldn't ask for better daughters...They are simply said: AMAZING!

Brooke and me at her dance recital 2009

Caitlyn and me at her honor roll awards ceremony 2009

Brooke and me at her first communion a few years back

PaPa and two of his favorite people

The three best kiddos any mom could ask for! Look closely that is a Houston snow storm at it's best =)

#PuppyMillFarmerBitchWENTDOWN

Today was the day....I have been waiting for it for almost two months...Instead of me going into details I am going to share the letter I wrote to the HSPCA, PETA, CKC, and a few other animal rights organizations....this kind of explains how it all went down.

On August 15^th I purchased my dog CinderElla “Ella” Jager from a “licensed breeder” who called herself Daisy Gonzales.  I had spoke with her on the phone the night before and asked if we could come see her female malitpoo. She said her husband was out of town and he didn’t want anyone coming to the house when he was gone and she asked if she could meet me somewhere.  She suggested in a parking lot at the Target at Memorial City Mall in Houston. I said that would be fine.

The next morning, my three kids, a friend, and I went to meet her. We instantly fell in love with the puppy. I gave her $450 cash and she gave me the puppy and the CKC papers to get her registered.  She told me there was a 10 day health guarantee with the puppy. 

We brought Ella home and she didn’t have much energy. She was very quiet.  I thought she might be having an adjustment to the new environment. As soon as she started eating, she began having diarrhea. The next day after we got her, she started coughing…the coughing turned into a hacking cough.  I took her to the Vet on the second day. Our Vet, Dr. Russell, was concerned. He treated her for the cough and the diarrhea.  I attempted to call Zoey to let her know the puppy was sick just so she could watch the other puppies. That is when she denied selling me the dog, she denied being a breeder and selling dogs at all.  She said that she just got this number a week ago. I told her not to do this, this wasn’t right. I told her I had taken down her license plate. She immediately hung up the phone.

The next time I took Ella to the Vet, because she wasn’t getting better, I shared the conversation I had with Zoey to my Vet.  He said it sounds like a puppy mill scam….the entire situation. From meeting in the parking lot, to her denying she sold me the puppy.

At that point, Ella’s health continued to decline.  She was seen at least once a week. Dr.Russell said there was a possibility of distemper but it was also possible Ella had a weakened immune system from the situation in which she was born and lived in prior to us.  I told him I didn’t want her to suffer, but I didn’t want to give up too soon.  So over the next 5 weeks he treated her with multiple antibiotics, steroids, anti-diarrhea meds, medicine for her skin, which had begun to break down, fluid injections and vitamins.  Then Ella started showing signs of her neurological system being compromised.  She couldn’t walk, sit up, and twitched.  I immediately took her back to Dr. Russell and we had her put to sleep.  Distemper.  We had her for 5 weeks and 2 days.

During the last few weeks of seeing my Ella so sick I began doing research on the Internet and I found out that Zoey has been selling litters of puppies (all 8 week old maltipoos) to people for MONTHS.  Every 2-3 weeks she post ads on various local classifieds, selling litters.  After she denied she sold me the puppy, saying she just got this phone and she doesn’t sell puppies I had a few friends call her and pretend to be interested in buying a puppy. She was always eager to sell and ALWAYS had puppies for sell.  My husband also called her, she was eager to sell to him. After she offered to meet somewhere, my husband informed her who he was and she had a couple of options. 1. To give us our money back 2. We would be taking her to court.  She hung up.  I called her after Ella passed, pretending to be a buyer. She once again said she had puppies for sell. I asked if she had both the mom and dad, she said yes.  I asked if I could see them b4 buying a puppy.  She stuttered and said that because she was weaning the puppies, the mom and dad weren’t there. They were staying with a friend.  Then I told her who I really was and told her I wanted my money back, I knew what she was doing. I also asked her if she was smuggling the puppies from Mexico. She said, “You have the wrong number”.  Then she hung up.

Like I said before…every time she would place an ad, they would always be a new litter. Ex: 3 males 2 females, 4 males 1 female, 2 females 3 males. They would ALWAYS be 8 weeks old.

I have to admit, she was pretty good at hiding herself.  She messed up when she posted an ad on the SPCA’s website on July 11, 2010 for her missing Yorki’s.  When she did this, she posted her cell phone number, her real name, and her home phone number.  So when I googled her cell phone number, that ad (as well as dozens of others selling puppies) popped up.  That is how I was able to find out her real name, address, ect.

A friend of mine emailed her and asked if he could buy a “sick puppy”..then told her one of her puppies had to be put to sleep…asked her to pay for the Vet bills.  She replied with “I’ll pay for YOUR ER bills when you end up there”….yes…she basically threatened him.  THEN…she found his FB page (thru his email addy) and sent him another msg saying “puppies were smuggled”. So she admitted it!!!

I filed a small claims lawsuit on September 23, 2010.  It is not about the money.  If I ever see any of it, it will be donated to an animal abuse shelter. I want this “lady” stopped. I don’t want her to be able to do this to innocent animals. I don’t want her to play with families’ emotions.  This entire situation has been heartbreaking for my family and me.  DEVESTATING! But more importantly, THE SUFFERING of these INNOCENT PUPPIES and SHE IS PROFITING!!! I have gathered.  I have a lot of the ads, all the emails, and all the FB conversations.  I am asking, begging, pleading, to have her investigated and stopped.  If there is ANYTHING I can do, or you have any questions regarding the information I am sending, please don’t hesitate to call me.

Okay....so that is the story....today me, my girls, my mom, and Caitlyn's bff and bf went to the courthouse and I was ready...I mean R E A D Y.  I had every piece of evidence, all the phone records, VET reports....ect...

Turns out I really didn't need all of that.  First off....Zoey was LATE for court. Ummmmm......HELLO IDIOT....Don't show up late for court, STRIKE ONE.  The judge heard my story...Zoey began to say it took me 3 weeks to call her and say Ella was sick...I had phone records to prove it was actually 3 days...he could see right through her and after 21 minutes of being in court, he said "Judgement for the Plaintiff"!!!! Like I said, this wasn't about the money.  It was the principle.  She will be paying me close to $1000, but there is no dollar amount for what Zoey does to these animals.  

This was just a civil case.  I can't really say what else is going on, but let's just say this civil case is really the least of her worries.  There were laws that have been broken...and there is a current investigation under way.  She IS a part of a puppy mill, and I want her stopped.  I will exhaust every effort to get her stopped.  I know she is just one of thousands who disregard animals in effort to profit, but one less is one less.  This entire experience has changed me....in so many different ways and on so many levels.  So step one is complete, now it's criminal court!!!

Thanks everyone for listening and once again all of your support!