It's 3am and I am wide awake. Possibly because I slept 90% of the day away, ya think? Yup, I think. I guess I am still recovering from that chemo crap....my body is so confused and my brain, well, we won't even go there. I had family members talking about me dying this week. I heard it "through the grapevine". No, really, I did. Apparently statistically I am going to die. Well, I say screw those statistics, because I am not going anywhere, ANY time soon. I have way too much to live for, tons of fight in me, and well, WAY TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!!!
Look at just a few things that keep me going, every single second of every single day!
Me and my girls
My sweet boy Clayton
DEXTER!!!
Lookie at this OLD pic of Robert and me!
My point is.....I am alive today and that is what matters. I promised myself I will live each day as if it is my last. I plan on getting hit by a train before I let this cancer kill me. (did I just jinx myself) (note to self: stay away from trains)
I love my life. I love my family. I love my friends.
Goodnight all,
Rach
Who the Hell would say things like that??? What is wrong with people....I learned along time ago that you don't say something you don't want to get around...you might as well say it to the person's face....Just remember the above pictures and to Hell in a hand basket to whoever is saying that....You will fight until there is no fight left in you!!! I know that and if others can't understand how hard this is and what a toll it does to your mind hearing or finding out what their loose tongues are spouting out, then just tell them if you can't say nice things, don't say anything at all~~~ Just my feelings...
ReplyDeleteI am so inspired by you Rachel! I am believing for TOTAL 100% recovery for you, for God's glory. You are right, you have WAY too much to live for to let anything, much less a stupid disease gt YOU down! You ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Sarah Heimbach
People can say some of the damn stupidest things to, and about, seriously ill people sometimes! When it happens, one way to look at it is to feel sorry for them...this is what happens when someone else's illness forces others to butt up against the fact of their own mortality, and rather than think about it too much, they start assuming that the other person is going to die. That way they can cushion themselves a bit more from thinking about the fact that someday they are going to die and there's nothing they can do to change it. Maybe you should just smile sweetly to them and say, "Folks, I've accepted it. I'm going to die...and you know what? You are, too. We all are. I just don't plan to do it any sooner than I have to. So don't start picking out the dress I'm gonna wear in my casket yet." See what the reaction is to that.
ReplyDeleteAt the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had a coworker who coincidentally happened to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. Before that time we hadn't needed to see a lot of each other and hadn't particularly gotten along, but I'll never forget him coming into my office and saying "It's like everyone else is living in this little cloud world, and you and me, we've had the cloud lifted away. And once that cloud is lifted away, nothing's the same. You start to understand what's real."
Rach, you understand what's real, and you're determined to do everything you can to be here for it and to enjoy it. If I were Cancer, I'd be so scared shitless of your ass. It just doesn't know who it's dealing with. Long may you wave.
Sarah....that picture of me and Robert was taking at your wedding! So good to hear from you and thank you for the wonderful comments! I LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the supportive comments! I WILL BEAT THIS THING. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!!! I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY A LADY CAN ASK FOR! LOVE YOU ALL!!!
ReplyDeletewooooops.....sorry Sarah, that pic was taken at another friends wedding, got my weddings confused =) love ya!
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