This will be the last I speak of my friend Kellie....I don't know all the details and I am not sure I want to know. But what I do know is this: Kellie was a great friend to me. She helped me through issues I had when I was a new nurse, she had some great advise with marital stuff I was going through, and she was always there for me if and when I needed her.
So her doing this was a shocker. I am not sure why she did it, but it has hurt a lot of people, including myself. I can say I have a lot of "friends" here on Twitter and to the non-tweeting world, that might sound ridiculous. But to people in our Twitter circle, you know what I am talking about. I have been given so many obstacles lately, and the love and support I have received through Twitter has been amazing and overwhelming. I have always assumed my tweeps are who they say they are (most of the time). Especially the ones I have spoken with over the phone, email, Facebook, and just chatting outside of Twitter. I speak of these people and I can call many of them TRUE friends. In fact, I met my very best friend/sister thru Twitter....
connected thru Twitter....met in real life a few months after talking on twitter and here we are, two years down the road this is us: This tattoo represents how we connected and the beginning of a true friendship/sisterhood that will never end.
I realized now, that not everyone says who they really are. Just because I am a honest person, doesn't mean everyone is. And you know what? That's okay. If you want to come to twitter and makeup a someone to be, that's perfectly okay...AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T PLAYING WITH OTHER PEOPLES EMOTIONS. That, is NOT okay. Kellie obviously needs help. Mental illness is a real disease. People suffer from mental illness all around you. It is more common that you know. 1 in 5 people are treated for mental illness each day. Kellie obviously needs help. I know she is a good person, she went out on a limb for me and cared (or so I thought) about me as a person. I knew she was unstable. I knew more than likely she wasn't currently a nurse at this time. (the hours she kept online kinda gave me that clue...you can't stay up for several days and nights and then go work for a cardiologist everyday) but it didn't bother me....she had so many good qualities and I overlooked a lot of what I thought might not be true. I just wish she was secure enough about herself to be herself. Again I say, she needs help. Kellie, YOU NEED HELP sweetheart!!! I don't know what happened with her and Spencer, but from what I do hear, it was awful....which proves my point even more. That is not evilness....that is a classic case of someone being mentally ill. She lived in a made-up world via the Internet and her reality was a dreamland. She is a brilliant woman and her passion for politics was at the top. Her wit? the best! Her sense of humor? One of my favs. I will miss the real "Kellbo0" because there is no one like her, she was the one and only Kellbo0.
Please don't mistake my opinion for making excuses for what she has done. I am not. It was wrong, wrong, and wrong. BUT...she needs help, love, and guidance. Those of which no one here on Twitter can really give her because in actuality, we really don't "know" her at all....
If she truly set out to find someone to viciously hurt and manipulate....that is not evilness...that is what you call someone who is mentally ill.
See: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_tell_if_someone_is_a_pathological_liar
I am not diagnosing Kellie by any means, just shedding light on one of the could be reasons for her doing what she did. So we can make fun and be mad and talk about it forever or we can all hope and pray (if you pray) that she gets the help she needs to be healthy and happy. That is what matters most. Her health and happiness. For her and for her daughters sake.
Spencer--If you are reading this, I am so sorry you were the brunt of Kellie's actions. Words can't express my sadness for you and I am so sorry you had to go through that. If you EVER need a friend to talk to, you know my number, feel free to use it at anytime. You are a wonderful guy and I know you will find your special soul mate. I don't blame you if you require fingerprints first =) (joke people, I'm joking) I am not making light of the situation, but Spencer has been through a lot of pain because of this....I just can't even imagine.
So that's it. I am sure most of us will miss the REAL "Kellbo0"...whoever she was...I wish her well! Kellie, you know how to get in touch with me. I can find you help, I promise it is out there!
And Spencer...You have all of our support, whenever, whatever you need. ((hugs))
XoXoXoXo
RachelPoPachel
I love Kellbo0 for her playful energy. I didn't know her on a level as personal as others did, and wish I could talk with her now, to hear her story, thoughts and feelings. I accept that the twittermachine is a playground and many ppl hide their true identity for obvious reasons.
ReplyDeleteI miss her and who ever she is, she is in my heart, my broken heart.
Thank you for your post. xo
You're one sweet, caring lady, Rach. I wish you all the best on your new blog endeavor, it looks great! So true what you said about meeting true friends via Twitter. You're high on my list! Much love and luck to you!
ReplyDeleteP.s. I had a not-so-nice experience w/her, too. Live and learn xoxo-robvogt
Thank you Jenny, <3 you back!
ReplyDeleteRobin....you are deff one of my top tweeps as well! You are a wonderful friend! xoxoxo Rach
Hey Rachel, I just caught your tweet on this post and was curious to read it. I can't begin to claim to have known Kellbo0 on any real level. But what I can say is that I had some interaction with her and that we had been following each other for some time. I also remember that she loved playing any hashtag games. I remember once commenting to her that she was the hashtag queen and that she took it as the compliment it was meant to be.
ReplyDeleteYou obviously knew her way better than I did and yet everything positive you say about her fits with my experience with her. I can't speak to the negative aspects you describe such as mental illness. I also don't have any info as to how she hurt others as I didn't witness any of it.
So at this point you're probably wondering why I am bothering to comment at all. My point is that there are precious few of us who actually use our real name and picture or who can be verifiable as who they are. I accept people as they present themselves. At the same time, I also realize that people often lie and misrepresent themselves to some degree or another. In a way that's the risk of forming relationships on the internet. Its also the beauty of the internet is that you can be whoever you want to be if you do take on another identity beyond your own name, pic, etc.
So its really hard to see how Kellbo0 really hurt people that would match up with all the reaction I'm seeing from those who befriended her on twitter. For that reason it is hard to understand how putting all of her business out on the internet as Spencer did was really warranted. But if she is dealing with serious mental issues then she needs compassion, understanding, nurturing and love. Not scorn and ridicule as I have seen. I really do hope she reaches out to someone like you that can offer some support and help. I'm not criticizing you but I am questioning all of the Kellbo0 bashing I've been seeing. Personally, I have no issue with Kellbo0 and I do wish she would return.
As you put it:
"She is a brilliant woman and her passion for politics was at the top. Her wit? the best! Her sense of humor? One of my favs. I will miss the real "Kellbo0" because there is no one like her, she was the one and only Kellbo0."
Good post Rachel and to Kellbo0, should she read this, I hope you are ok and that you find a way to return to the many people who care about you and miss you; count me as one of those. Peace and blessings!
Nicely written Rach. You, Roxy and Kellie were my first friends on Twitter and I've enjoyed sharing thoughts and experiences with each of you. So sorry about Kellie.
ReplyDeleteThank you both so much. Kellie...if you are reading this there are several friends who want to reach out to you, help you, support you. We are here for you. Please let us in....we want to help.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping to be able to write something like this. Rach, I think you summed it up quite well. kellbo0, people do care about you. You can run away and start the same game all over, or you can reach out to people who already have some idea of who you are.
ReplyDeleteMy motto: "To diagnose is to forgive"
ReplyDeleteGreat blog- thank you for sharing your world!you are a great writer...
Thx Jen =) I'm new to this, so I appreciate the compliment!
ReplyDeleteGood Job Rachel, I too feel horrible for Spencer, and I know first hand how people say they are one thing on the internet, and turn out to be something else. I was burnt fairly badly in 1999/2000 by a poser online too. In his case - he was just and evil manipulative bastard, but in the case of Kellie, there was so much to her that something special shone through, and it's sad to think that it was surpassed for some by the illness that has taken a hold of her. I too will keep a good thought that she reaches out to someone, or someone who knows her irl will get her some help, so she can come back eventually to those of us who enjoyed the discourse with her.
ReplyDelete